A Little Bit of God’s Light Fills My Soul

From time to time, do you ever wonder what is your purpose in life? I do. Is it to be a good wife and mom? Is it to work? Is it to raise my children well? When I start to think about these things, I am missing my true purpose. The question that I should be asking is what does God want me to do? This thought is harder to grasp. It is not what I want or think I should do. I need to think about what God wants me to do. It may make me uncomfortable or could be scary.

Before I opened the bible this morning, I prayed to God asking how I can do his will. I opened the bible to a familiar verse, “Set apart for me Barnabas and Saul for the work to which I have called them.” For months, I have been reading this verse and wondering what work God has for me. I have not prayed about this for at least a month. Clearly, I need to get back to praying about this verse and the work that God has called me to do.

While they were worshiping the Lord and fasting, the Holy Spirit said, “Set apart for me Barnabas and Saul for the work to which I have called them.”
–Acts 13:2 (NIV)

Then again, I haven’t written for a month, because I was busy with Christmas, birthdays, and relatives visiting. Whenever, I read the bible, I always feel pulled to write about it and my thoughts. Maybe this is what God wants me to do right now? When I don’t read the bible, I feel like something is missing. It is so easy to get consumed with the things going on in this world. For example, yesterday New York passed a law to allow abortions up to birth and then lit up the One World Trade Center in pink to celebrate. This story alone is enough to make my stomach feel knots and a lump in throat, as I hold back tears. The news stories make me feel so sad and depressed. I wonder if God’s heart is hurting as he looks at the mess we are creating here. God gives us a glimpse of what his heart is like, ‘I have found David son of Jesse, a man after my own heart; he will do everything I want him to do.’

Then the people asked for a king, and he gave them Saul son of Kish, of the tribe of Benjamin, who ruled forty years. After removing Saul, he made David their king. God testified concerning him: ‘I have found David son of Jesse, a man after my own heart; he will do everything I want him to do.’
— Acts 13:21-22 (NIV)

David wrote most of the Psalms. When I read the book Psalms and think of David having a heart like God, it is clear what God thinks of sin and how much he loves us. Sinners do not fear God, instead they think only of themselves, they can’t see their sins. The words they speak are deceitful. They lay in bed planning evil. They do not reject what is wrong. In contrast, God’s love is endless and reaches to the heavens. God’s faithfulness reaches the skies. God’s justice is like the deep ocean. God preserves people and animals. People take refuge in God’s shadow. God provides abundance. God is the light, when he is in our lives, we can truly see. God fills the hearts of those who know him. When we serve God, evil people cannot harm us. With God on our side, evil people will be thrown down, unable to rise against us.

Psalm 36
For the director of music. Of David the servant of the Lord.

I have a message from God in my heart
concerning the sinfulness of the wicked:
There is no fear of God
before their eyes.

In their own eyes they flatter themselves
too much to detect or hate their sin.

The words of their mouths are wicked and deceitful;
they fail to act wisely or do good.

Even on their beds they plot evil;
they commit themselves to a sinful course
and do not reject what is wrong.

Your love, Lord, reaches to the heavens,
your faithfulness to the skies.

Your righteousness is like the highest mountains,
your justice like the great deep.
You, Lord, preserve both people and animals.

How priceless is your unfailing love, O God!
People take refuge in the shadow of your wings.

They feast on the abundance of your house;
you give them drink from your river of delights.

For with you is the fountain of life;
in your light we see light.

Continue your love to those who know you,
your righteousness to the upright in heart.

May the foot of the proud not come against me,
nor the hand of the wicked drive me away.

See how the evildoers lie fallen—
thrown down, not able to rise!
–Psalm 36 (NIV)

One phrase stands out me, “in your light we see light.” Without God, we are blind to our sin. We cannot see what we do is wrong. I need to seek God everyday, read the bible and pray. When I spend time trying to get to know God and seeking God in my life, I let a little bit of God’s light into my heart. God is light, so a little bit of God’s light fills my soul, energizes me, gives my inner peace, and puts my fears to rest. I hope you will seek God today and let light into your heart.

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