Hope and Peace

The Wise Woman Builds Her House

There seems to be an unwritten rule that moms should return to work when their kids go back to school. Kids are in school 180 days a year and home 185 days a year, not including snow days, field trips, parent days at school and sick days. I did work part-time, until my oldest was going to start half day kindergarten. I was lucky to work at home for a few years and juggle my work schedule with my husband’s work schedule. It was great, until he was laid off. Then, we had to figure out a new way to make things work. I had always wanted to stay at home with the kids. My husband was out of work for seven months. I worked and increased my hours to full-time, so we could get benefits, while he stayed at home with the kids. Then, I had to go into the office. It was a long drive there and back, 1-2 hours each way. Once you increase your part-time hours, its very difficult to go back to 16 hours again. Seven months later, my husband started a new job which required long hours. He would leave at 6 a.m and return home at 7-8 p.m., so I would have to go to work and manage the daycare situation, all for bringing home a few hundred dollars a month. He made significantly more money than I did, and I wanted to stay at home. So, we made a big decision, and I left my job.

I didn’t mind working. My biggest problem was not having enough time off. I used my sick hours and vacation days to stay home with my kids, when they were sick. Unfortunately, that left hardly any time for an actual vacation or time to visit relatives. I remember one of the hardest times was when my mother-in-law died, and I was 3 months into a high risk pregnancy. I had to go to the doctor appointments for my unborn child, take care of two year old son, and my work said that I didn’t have enough time off for bereavement leave. It was very stressful. I had to keep reminding myself that I have to take care of my unborn baby, even if others were angry at me.

Honestly, I think working moms are amazing. They are organized and juggle their family, home, and bring in a pay check. I couldn’t figure out how to make it work, but I admire those who do make it work. They are like super moms.

I don’t think that I need to apologize for being a stay at home mom, while my kids are in school. The bus picks them up at 7:25 a.m and brings them back home at 2:45 p.m., so that is 7 hours. They are home or at activities for the remaining 17 hours of the day. Sometimes they are home more. My daughter came down with the flu during Spring Break, so she was home for a week and then 3 sick days. She was sick again last week and home sick for 5 days. 5+3+5 = 13 days in 3 weeks. That would have used my yearly vacation days, if I was working.

Don’t apologize for being a stay at home mom. Sometimes, I wish that we had extra money to buy a vacation house or take fun trips. Mostly, I hope that my kids will remember me always being there for them and always feel loved. When I was 12, I had to come home to an empty house, and it was lonely. I am glad that I am home to drive them to activities, make them a snack, make sure they do their homework and see them in ordinary moments.

I looked for biblical quotes supporting women being stay at home moms. There are encouraging quotes for all moms. I think you can be a great mom if you work or stay at home. Its a choice and maybe you will have alternate roles. I was a working mom, then a stay at home mom, then I did some freelance work for a few months, so I was a working mom again, and now I am a stay at home mom again. Do what is right for your family and don’t apologize.

A wise woman builds her house, but a foolish woman pulls it down with her hands. Building up your house requires patience and love on a daily basis. Love your kids. Love your husband. Help. Encourage. Spend your time building up strengths and confidence. Read the bible and fill your days with God’s word. Pray for your family. How do you tear down your house? You can ruin your house with adultery. Lies. Spending money you don’t have. Belittling. Criticizing. Favoring one child over another. Acting spiteful and resentful.

The wise woman builds her house,
But the foolish pulls it down with her hands.
–Proverbs 14:1 (NKJV)

Your family can make the choice to serve the Lord. I see Christian families that home school their children and are Christian role models. I admire them and respect them. I send my kids to public schools. They are exposed to things that I cannot control, but I can control how to address questions. I can seek the Lord and ask for guidance to be a good mom and say the right words at the right time. You can make the decision to serve the Lord each day. “But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.”

And if it seems evil to you to serve the Lord, choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the River, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you dwell. But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.”
–Joshua 24:15 (NKJV)

Moms, you are special. You can build up your house and make your house a home, a special, loving safe haven for your family. Moms, you know what your family needs and how to build up your house. If you do not know, pray about it. Your house can serve the Lord, and many blessings will come to those in it.

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