This morning, I woke up wanting go back to sleep, but knowing sleep would not come to me. I was so anxious to hear news about my mom. My brother texted the group chain and said they have no updates at 6:45 am. Two hours later, I texted the group. I texted my sister. Text. Text. Text. Text! No replies. I called my sister, no answer. After what seemed like forever, my brother called me at about 10:45 a.m. to let me know what the doctor said. He said that it was an hour explanation. I wish that I could have been there. I was too exhausted to drive to Baltimore this morning. We would have had to leave at 5 a.m. to get there at 7 a.m. to hear the updates from the doctor. Thankfully, my brother and sister live 30 minutes away from the hospital.
The report. My mom has stage 3-4 Glioblastoma. A 8-9 hour surgery is scheduled for Monday.
The prognosis. It will never go away. She will need scans every few weeks for the rest of her life. The surgery will remove the mass. She will never be the same. The hope is that she will continue to stay where she is at now with confusion and slurred speech. If it was not caught, she would have lived one month. Now, the doctor hopes for two years.
So, now I know the prognosis. Now what?
I email my church, Cornerstone Chapel, and update my initial prayer request from Thursday. Pastor Jimmy says the pastors will pray for my mom before church on Sunday.
I text everyone who had asked for an update and tell them about the prognosis.
I read the responses, and feel confused.
- “May God guide the hands of the surgeon and may he have his merciful hand on your mother and upon every member of the surgical team. May your mom know God’s peace and may you and your family be aware of God’s presence in your midst during this difficult time…especially Monday during surgery.”
- “Don’t believe the odds the doctors give you! People defy odds all the time. They gave my mom less than 1% chance of survival and a smaller chance that she would ever be normal again. She beat every odd they gave her. Miracles do happen…trust me. Just keep the faith!”
–My very good friend A, who claims not to be religious
- “Praying for continued wisdom and discernment for the doctors and the entire medical team. Praying for continued strength and patience for you seeing her go through this.”
- “Keep your faith and hope strong in the LORD. Everyone is keeping all of you in prayer.”
- “We are so sorry to hear that. However, now that we know, we can pray more specifically for your mom. Sending you all love and hugs, and continuing to pray for you all”
Why I am confused? The doctor said she only has two years. I ask my husband a few questions, and he said that I either have faith or I don’t.
We have an amazing doctor, one of the best in the world. I am so thankful that God blessed us with him as my mom’s doctor.
The thing is, God is greater than what we know. The one that created us and moves mountains can also change outcomes. So, what is God’s will for my mom?
We visited my mom at the hospital after lunch. She was allowed to walk around with us. While I was there, the priest came in to visit with her. He anointed her head, gave her the Eucharist, prayed with her and chatted with her. He asked her how many children she had. She replied proudly that she had 3 kids and 7 grandchildren. He said that was amazing. She replied that she was very blessed and lucky to have led such a good life. He replied that he prays that God will heal her, so she can do God’s good work.
Day 2 is a wrap.
“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.”
–Jeremiah 29:11 (NKJV)
God, I pray that you heal my mom. Praying that your will be done, because it is far greater than anything I can imagine.