I love my kids so much. I think they are amazing. There are so valuable to me. I get deeply hurt when others do things to make them feel less than what they are. I tell them they are loved. Worthy. Valuable. Worth more than anything that money can buy. Their value is infinite to me, and even more to God. I want them to so badly know their worth and value.
Do I feel the same way about myself? Do I know my own value and worth? When people hurt me, does the hurt sting so much, because they touched on an insecurity in myself? The words or actions that caused a flicker of hurt opened deep wounds, that I didn’t know were there. It is a hard to admit, but I do not always value myself. I became a stay-at-home four years ago. I really wanted to be there for my kids. The majority of my time is spent doing chores and trying to help and encourage my kids. I pray for them and my husband. I do not bring home a paycheck anymore, so I feel guilty that I am not contributing to my family’s finances. I try to keep busy and not think about it. But when other people treat me like I am not valuable, I start to feel that way about myself. I don’t like to feel unwanted. I don’t like to feel like my only value is to do chores or serve food. That does not make me feel good. It makes me sad. Angry.
God made each human on earth. The same God that divided the earth with rivers, thought that I was worthy of being created. Mountains tremble at the sight of God. The same God made me. How can I think that God made something of little value? Why would God make me, if God didn’t see me as part of his plan for earth? God made me for a reason. God made me, so I have value in the eyes of our Lord.
You divided the earth with rivers.
The mountains saw You and trembled;
–Habakkuk 3:9-10 (NKJV)
I may not like the number on the scale. I may not like the way other moms look at me and judge me. I may not know what to say at times. I may say the wrong thing. Despite all of these flaws that I can list and list, God still thought that I was valuable. God thought that he wanted me on this earth. I have value to God. Just as I see my children as valuable and amazing, God sees me as valuable and amazing, so I better treat myself as valuable. I better love myself. I may never look the way others think I should. I may never act the way others want me to act. God loves me, and thinks I am valuable.
The Lord God is my strength;
He will make my feet like deer’s feet,
And He will make me walk on my high hills.
–Habakkuk 3:19 (NKJV)
I have to go out into a world that is not always kind, and does not always value me. I have to let the Lord be my strength. The Lord will give me what I need to climb the highest hill. The Lord will equip me with what I need. When I feel weak, the Lord will give me strength. When I feel like I am going to break, the Lord will make me strong. “The Lord God is my strength”.